And we're back with episode 2! Episode 2 added onto the drama that made episode 1 so much fun. In the last episode, we saw the show end up on a cliffhanger with the Tymee and Jolly.V's second round performances being cut. We'll get to see the two ladies' solo performances today, and then some!
Like the last recap, my dear friend Ranya (@itsRanya) will be joining me. We're trying our best to catch up to the show at the moment, so please be patient! (I do understand that episode 5 aired last night and caused the biggest shit tornado. Feel free to discuss this in the comments but have spoiler alerts!)
Second Round
Really getting down to the second round this episode, we get to see each of the contestants perform for a minute in front of all the producers. Actually, each would be an overstatement - we actually don’t get to see most of the contestants, but a select few.
New Champ
First we see New Champ at his one-minute show. The producers start off by saying various things like “just do as you do normally” and “I’ve heard so much about you”, but the final result is less than spectacular, as all the producers fail him.
Sangha: OOOHHHH I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS. NO WORDS. New “I’ll show them what real rap is” Champ. What a horrible, awkward performance. He completely ignores the beat here! Damn. Masta Wu’s face perfect sums this up for me:
Ranya: That shit was baaaaaaaad! Maybe the hype got to him? Maybe the satanic voodoo wore off? What surprises me is the people sitting outside being surprised like “but oh daaamn he was so good?”
After the disappointing results, New Champ asks the producers if he can try one more time.
Sangha: ??????? This is the best thing about SMTM3. Everyone puts up these crazy “I’m the best and I’m gonna fuck you up” facade, but once they mess up, they’re suddenly begging for another chance.
Sorry, New Champ
The producers turn down New Champ. The Quiett says that he didn’t know what part he was supposed to be listening to. Masta Wu says he was scared. (Me too, Masta Wu, me too.) Dok2 adds that New Champ is too fixated on his own style, and would be un-produceable. Swings seems taken aback, saying that his rap seemed out of sync.
Ranya: How much of New Champ is actually him, or is this really like a super-extended piece of performance art like that period Joaquin Phoenix totally lost it for his mockumentary???
Sangha: Haha! New Champ's I'm Still Here.
Tymee vs. Jolly.V
We see Tymee vs. Jolly.V finally unfold in this episode.
Jolly.V
Jolly.V is full of confidence and achieves an all-pass.
Ranya: Like dear Jolly you are so problematic as a person, but wow I am so impressed at how much you’ve improved! I used to have a problem listening to her tracks because her flow and her rap used to kinda underwhelm some kickass beats big time. Good job missy! (Just please educate yourself, hand in 2k words on the importance of sisterhood and the toxicity of internalized misogyny by monday, listen to some girl groups and get back to me ok? Fix yourself.)
Sangha: Aye, to everything you've said, Ranya.
Tymee
Tymee seems to start off strong but only few seconds in, she forgets her lines, and is unable to continue. When she picks up again, it’s too late and all the producers have pressed the FAIL button. Off stage, she bursts into tears, saying “how could I put on such a shitty stage!”
Sangha: I am floored by this. So much secondhand embarrassment. It’s really a shame here though, because I personally thought once Tymee picks it up again, she wasn’t all that bad. But clearly that wasn’t enough to impress the producers.
Ranya: I couldn’t believe it at all! Such a shame because I wanted to see how she’d present herself as Tymee versus her old e.via. ("Oppa can I do it?" will always be my jam girl, stay strong).
Sangha: Not gonna lie, "Shake" is my guilty jam...
Ranya: Dok2 please explain what went wrong?
Sangha: Dok2 please explain...
Bobby
Next up is YG-trainee Bobby. Before starting, he says that his CEO Yang Hyun Suk told him that he’d have to pack up if he does poorly on the show. As he starts, YDG pretty much pushes the FAIL button right away, and Swings seems really unimpressed as he soon follows suit. Bobby manages to pass as the YG team and the Illionaire team let him pass. Masta Wu says that it was dangerous as he started out weak. Swings says it was superficial. Tablo advises him by saying, “if you don’t want to pack up, you really need to try harder.” The Quiett adds that Bobby seemed like he was trying too hard to be cool. Swings goes further, saying that Bobby doesn’t have his own style yet.
Sangha: Bobby’s pose when he’s talking on the MIC! Boy can’t contain his swag. His YG swag.
Ranya: Man, you can see on Swings face that he had it gunning for him before he even started. Shame.
Sangha: also did y’all catch the Olltii-smirk?
Ranya: Get that shit trademarked boy.
Sangha: I wasn’t very impressed by Bobby's performance either, I felt like he was stronger in the preliminary round (“like Galileo!”). After his round, Bobby admits, “this is going to be harder than I thought.” Boy. This is Show Me The Money. People don’t fuck around on this show. This is serious business.
Ranya: I agree that the beginning was boring and the looking in the ground during “call me trash” sounds more like me during first dance practices than the swagger level I wanna achieve.
Kang Choon Hyuk
The North Korea defector rapper is back. Unfortunately, he messes up pretty quickly and is unable continue. He is eliminated.
Everyone Fails
More contestants fail because they all suck.
Sangha: Blings are returned. Tears are shed.
Ranya: Dok2 please explain this bad turn-up.
Sangha: clearly not much 'turn up' happening here. Dok2 please explain.
Sung Jang Goon
This is a contestant that was only briefly shown in the first episode: Sung Jang Goon. If you remember, he’s that one contestant that seemed extra nervous in the first round but ended up pulling a surprisingly good performance. He’s from Haenam, the southern tip of the Korean peninsula. He has an adorable dialect to boot. The show cuts to him working in his hometown, helping out his grandmother who raised him since he was little because his parents are divorced. He is also seen indoctrinating old ladies, brainwashing them to chant “show me what you got”.
Sangha: Definite highlight of episode two so far! Shoutout to that one gramps who walks in front of the camera during Sung Jang Goon’s interview.
Ranya: My god him and his accent is so cute. Grandma jamming to that heavy cussing, wow.
Sangha: also did y’all catch the Olltii-smirk?
Ranya: Get that shit trademarked boy.
Sangha: I wasn’t very impressed by Bobby's performance either, I felt like he was stronger in the preliminary round (“like Galileo!”). After his round, Bobby admits, “this is going to be harder than I thought.” Boy. This is Show Me The Money. People don’t fuck around on this show. This is serious business.
Ranya: I agree that the beginning was boring and the looking in the ground during “call me trash” sounds more like me during first dance practices than the swagger level I wanna achieve.
Kang Choon Hyuk
The North Korea defector rapper is back. Unfortunately, he messes up pretty quickly and is unable continue. He is eliminated.
Everyone Fails
More contestants fail because they all suck.
Sangha: Blings are returned. Tears are shed.
Ranya: Dok2 please explain this bad turn-up.
Sangha: clearly not much 'turn up' happening here. Dok2 please explain.
Sung Jang Goon
This is a contestant that was only briefly shown in the first episode: Sung Jang Goon. If you remember, he’s that one contestant that seemed extra nervous in the first round but ended up pulling a surprisingly good performance. He’s from Haenam, the southern tip of the Korean peninsula. He has an adorable dialect to boot. The show cuts to him working in his hometown, helping out his grandmother who raised him since he was little because his parents are divorced. He is also seen indoctrinating old ladies, brainwashing them to chant “show me what you got”.
Sangha: Definite highlight of episode two so far! Shoutout to that one gramps who walks in front of the camera during Sung Jang Goon’s interview.
Ranya: My god him and his accent is so cute. Grandma jamming to that heavy cussing, wow.
Sung Jang Goon does really well and impresses all the producers. YDG can be seen dancing to his rap, even. Everyone passes him. Sung Jang Goon is suddenly floored by feels and he ends up breaking out into tears on stage while talking about his grandmother.
Sangha: Aww. What a cutie. Also he was so on-beat, wow. Solid performance.
Ranya:
and also
Godspeed farmboy, I believe in you.
The Three High School Contestants
There are three high school contestants who made it to the second rounds. Cha Main has an odd haircut and Tablo jokingly says that he’s wearing a do-rag. The kid doesn’t get the joke. He achieves an all-pass.
Sangha: I love how he had no idea what a do-rag was and didn’t get the joke, hah
Ranya: Who said “Turn up”?????
Kim Chul Bum is up next. He dropped out of high school because he was bullied in school. Despite his initial timidness, once he starts rapping he oozes confidence and charisma. He also achieves an all-pass.
Sangha: I really like this kid. He seems to have such a sincere passion for rapping. I hope the best for him in the future.
Ranya: Success is the best revenge, get it!
Yook Ji Dam
Yook Ji Dam is the only female high school student contestant left on the show. She is a trainee under Heo In Chang, who appeared on the second season of SMTM and was eliminated in the 1:1 battle round.
Dok2 brings up how she copied his lyrics to pass the first round. Swings seems surprised, as he admits to not knowing that it wasn’t original. Dude!
She passes with an all-pass. Swings says that he’s thankful that she rapped well. He also adds that she’s better than her mentor Heo In Chang.
Sangha: Am I the only one not impressed? Her lyrics were okay, but she seemed so stiff? As if she just memorized her lines really well. I’d like to see where she goes from here.
Ranya: She was a bit “eh”, seemed out of breath, but had decent flow even if it seemed stiff. Maybe she’ll show more in the future.
Nada of Wa$$up
Nada of Wa$$up is here! When she says that Swings is her favourite rapper out of all the producers, Swings jumps up screaming “booyah”.
Ranya: Dok2 please explain these “rapper profiles”.
Sangha: Swings is so embarrassing to me. Tablo’s reaction:
Ranya: Stay humble, Swings.
Nada barely manages to pass as everyone fails her except Swings & San E. And she ends up twerking at the end. Tablo gives her sharp criticism, saying that if she wants to use a Wu Tang beat, she has to be really good. He was also not impressed by her twerking, saying that it wasn’t the right moment for them to be joking about whether she should twerk or not.
Sangha: Yeah Tablo, tell 'em.
Ranya: Masta Wu was feeling it.
Sangha: Dok2 please explain this.
Ranya: Like I just feel she just needs a lot of practice? I can see some potential in her lyrics, but the delivery needs work. (Wa$$up my homegirls stick to what you do best! muah! I love you)
Kisum
Kisum also barely manages to pass as Swings & San E lets her move on. The Quiett quietly adds in his quiet voice that “Swings is weak to those kind of things”.
Sangha: I love The Quiett and his quiet voice.
Ranya: Q’s truth serves up so smooth.
Sangha: Rollie up smooth.
"Show Me The Money, fucking haters"
As most of the contestants pick either Swings or YDG as their favourite rappers, Tablo spits out a rather accurate statement: "Show Me The Money, fucking haters."
Sangha: Tablo, what did you expect... this is Swings' world now and we're just living in it. Illionaire gang, stay pressed.
Ranya: Dok2 please explain all your conspiracy theories.
J.Slow
J.Slow starts off by mimicking the producers… pretty well. Only Masta Wu and Tablo fail him.
Sangha: He even got Tablo’s baby-voice with Haru spot-on!
Ranya: At first I thought the name was familiar, but realized it was because I confused it with G-Slow (one of my favourite producers!). I didn’t really like his rap though.
Ranya: Stay humble, Swings.
Nada barely manages to pass as everyone fails her except Swings & San E. And she ends up twerking at the end. Tablo gives her sharp criticism, saying that if she wants to use a Wu Tang beat, she has to be really good. He was also not impressed by her twerking, saying that it wasn’t the right moment for them to be joking about whether she should twerk or not.
Sangha: Yeah Tablo, tell 'em.
Ranya: Masta Wu was feeling it.
Sangha: Dok2 please explain this.
Ranya: Like I just feel she just needs a lot of practice? I can see some potential in her lyrics, but the delivery needs work. (Wa$$up my homegirls stick to what you do best! muah! I love you)
Kisum
Kisum also barely manages to pass as Swings & San E lets her move on. The Quiett quietly adds in his quiet voice that “Swings is weak to those kind of things”.
Sangha: I love The Quiett and his quiet voice.
Ranya: Q’s truth serves up so smooth.
Sangha: Rollie up smooth.
"Show Me The Money, fucking haters"
As most of the contestants pick either Swings or YDG as their favourite rappers, Tablo spits out a rather accurate statement: "Show Me The Money, fucking haters."
Sangha: Tablo, what did you expect... this is Swings' world now and we're just living in it. Illionaire gang, stay pressed.
Ranya: Dok2 please explain all your conspiracy theories.
J.Slow
J.Slow starts off by mimicking the producers… pretty well. Only Masta Wu and Tablo fail him.
Sangha: He even got Tablo’s baby-voice with Haru spot-on!
Ranya: At first I thought the name was familiar, but realized it was because I confused it with G-Slow (one of my favourite producers!). I didn’t really like his rap though.
Sangha: Oh that's why it sounded so familiar! I was wondering about that, too!
Snacky Chan & Born Kim
Both Snacky Chan and Born Kim get maybe few seconds of screentime. They both pass.
Sangha: Ok SMTM Imma let you finish but BORN KIM? BORN KIM IS ON THIS SHOW AND YOU AREN’T SHOWING ME ANYTHING? Alright. Sorry, I really like Born Kim. I can’t believe he only got maybe five seconds of screentime here. In the first episode you don’t even get to see him rap. What a shame. Born Kim. Dang.
Ranya: With my homegirl above me!
Kim Sung Hee
Rapper Kim Sung Hee namedrops all the famous contestants and criticizes the show’s producers, saying that they seem “too loose”.
Ranya: Time to stock up on gasoline and matches, YDG.
Sangha: apparently he says more than that but the show cut him off, making him sound like he’s criticizing the producers baselessly. I see what you did there, SMTM.
Vasco
Probably the most well-known rapper out of the contestants, Vasco, is up to present, and the producers finally seem interested in what’s happening on the stage.
Vasco, as a Father, Have Your Heart Torn to Pieces, This is Heart-wrenching
The show then shows Vasco at home, looking after his son. He divorced his wife after a year of marriage and now takes care of his young son with the help of his parents. His son Seobbie is really adorable, and it’s painful to watch him cry while Vasco drops him off at daycare. Vasco says that the only reason he’s on SMTM3 is so he can be more well-known, make more money and buy delicious food for his son Seobbie.
Sangha: I am crying. Someone get Vasco on Return of Superman, PLEASE.
Ranya: This is the second time on the show where we learn that children of divorced parents are being taken care of by their grandparents. And it’s said in such a way like that should is obvious? Is this a thing I’m just not getting, or….???? (Dok2 please explain) Wow that was heartbreaking to see and I just want him to be able to take care of his son.
Sangha: I believe this is the norm in Korea with kids with divorced parents - I have a couple of friends whose parents are divorced and they were raised by their grandparents.
Vasco's Performance
All the producers seem to want him for their own after the fantastic performance.
Ranya: Even Olltii's smirk was dropped to stare slack-jawed among with the rest backstage.
Sangha: Well done, sir.
Shim Hyun Bo
Shim Hyun Bo is the unexpected contestant passed on thanks to YDG. Again, YDG is the only one who doesn’t fail him. The other producers are confused by YDG’s tastes, as they can’t seem to agree.
Ranya: The producers’ bewildered faces as YDG happily jams out is everything to me.
Sangha: Dok2, please explain what is up with YDG.
Jung Sang Soo
Next up is Jung Sang Soo, a swaggy man who unfortunately drops the n-word, which throws off the producers. All the producers except YDG fail him. The other producers don’t get it, and The Quiett even calls YDG “the hip-hop saviour”.
Sangha: I wish the show would’ve expressed how that’s not cool to use the n-word here, instead of just showing the reaction shots. I know so many Korean kids who throw around the word because they’ve heard it in rap songs and think it’s a cool thing to say. But it’s not! And we could’ve totally cleared this up here, and the show just blew it.
Ranya:
Vintage Swagger, Iron
Iron calls his style “vintage swagger”. He picks YDG as his favourite rapper. He is unique and confident, and YDG is the only one who fails him. YDG gives him a cold shoulder, saying he doesn’t understand why he passed Iron in the first round.
Sangha: YDG, why so cold?
YDG says that he picks contestants based on their spiritual aura. And then he goes onto wonder if he should get some psychiatric help.
Sangha: He is so funny. Also I really liked Iron’s rap, probably the most memorable out of everyone so far for me.
Ranya: You’re so lucky bucket hats are back in style. YDG deliver us.
CJamm
CJamm is a rapper under Swings’ label Brand New Music, and Swings and San E fail him from the start ‘to be fair’. Apparently CJamm really wanted to get into Illionaire but Swings convinced him to join Brand New Music. He does well and all the other producers pass him. He is ecstatic to pass on.
Sangha: it’s so cute how excited he gets.
Giriboy
Giriboy is also under Brand New Music. He is popular among the ladies.
Sangha: Understandably so, he’s hella cute.
Ranya: GIRIBOY! I’ve been a fan for a while! He makes some awesome R'n'B tunes too (but baby boy, it’s not your track if Swings is hoggin 80% of it)
Giriboy says that Swings isn’t that nice to his juniors, throwing shade at his own label rep. He passes but Tablo fails him. When Tablo asks Giriboy what team he’d like to be on, Giriboy points at Tablo. Tablo admits that he failed Giriboy to see what he’d be like under pressure.
Sangha: Start of a sad, one-sided love story here beginning to unfold, ladies and gentlemen.
Ranya: Wassup Giriboy, Oh my Giriboy.
B.I
Time for the other YG-trainee, B.I. He barely managed to pass the first round thanks to his bold freestyling. He raps and disses the producers while doing so! All the producers pass him.
Sangha: Boy did well! That was really good. I also liked how witty his lyrics were. I am very impressed this time around.
Ranya: More fun to watch than his audition. The part where he sat down and took the rap in a conversational tone was pretty good, I liked it.
Tarae & Co. Pass, But We Don’t Get to See It
Tarae and other unnamed contestants pass, but who cares? Mnet sure doesn’t.
Third Round: 1 on 1 Rap Battle
For the third round, MC Kim Jin Pyo will pick out names from a box and whoever is picked get to choose their opponent. Bobby is up first, and he picks Kim Sung Hee without hesitation.
Sangha: This is so awkward. Did they tell them to stare at each other menacingly? :
Bobby vs. Kim Sung Hee
Bobby says Kim Sung Hee’s better with lyrics but he has better flow. Once they start performing, Bobby is seen messing up, and the show, once again, ends on a cliff hanger.
Sangha: hahaha Bobby, hahaha. I love this show. Everyone sucks.
Closing Thoughts
Sangha: show highlights -
- Bobby: nananananan nananananan
- The three seconds of Born Kim’s performance we get. I still got you, Born Kim, I got you.
- YDG the Hip-Hop Saviour
- Vasco and his son Seobbie. Vasco gotta win now! He must! I insist!!
- Are YDG counseling sessions going to be weaved in with rap performances? Why was he always behind the sofa? was he hiding from himself?
- Tablo’s face when Giriboy walked in= foreshadowing
- Dok2 please explain why your snapback aligns perfectly with your sunglasses.
Sangha: Dok2 please explain, what does 'turn up' mean?
What are your thoughts on the second episode of Show Me The Money 3? Comment below to discuss!
the cherry on the trainwreck pie is how they keep airing clips of judges and competitors complaining about the show's shadiness. is that the show attempting to meta?
ReplyDeletemaybe the whole thing is an elaborate performance art directed by ydg
so so love your recaps. you are both very witty haaaha. hallariously entertaining!
ReplyDeleteim confused though, why do you keep on asking dok2 to explain things??? is it cause he barely speaks in any episode?
Dok2 was so gracious to explain to us what "turn up" meant in his twitter. Since then we have turned to him for more wisdom.
ReplyDeleteSURPRISE! this was all a cultural experiment, directed by ydg - to reflect the current state of Korean society.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be surprised.
Love your recap, it was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis recap was hilarious! will you recap episode 3 and onwards?
ReplyDeletehttp://khiphop-confessions.tumblr.com/tagged/new-champ apparently many people saw this coming, haha. New Champ is a force to be feared...
ReplyDeleteI was hoping Tymee would go on a bit further too! :( at least prove that she's gotten better since her not-so-good e.via days. shame.
also - we will continue to recap, it's just that Ranya's been traveling the last few days, and I haven't had the time to get to setting up the recap. episode 3 recap will be posted soon though, hopefully!
I'm anxiously await your next recap even though I've already watched up to episode five. I think it'd be good even if you guys didn't do a full episode recap and just did commentary. Both of you are so funny.
ReplyDelete